I think I have hit on one reason I piss people off so much. It is because I won the no-win scenario.
As long time readers will know I am a Trekkie. My joy at science fiction knows no bounds. At Star Fleet Academy there is a test called the Kobayashi Maru.
Kobayashi Maru is the name of a spaceship in a training exercise in the Star Trek fictional universe. In the exercise, the “Kobayashi Maru” is the precipitating element in a simulated no-win scenario. The ship’s name is occasionally used among Star Trek fans or those familiar to describe such situations.
The Kobayashi Maru was first depicted in the opening scene of the film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, in which command division cadets at Starfleet Academy are presented with a no-win scenario as a test of character. This provided context for how the main character, Admiral James T. Kirk, deals with the possibility of unwinnable situations, and death in particular.
Fashion is a little bit like the Kobayashi Maru for a girl like me. I am short, from a normal family, have no society or social connections, and generally don’t exude any aura of style or fabulousness. I just happen to like fashion for reasons inexplicable to even me. The industry is geared towards making sure plebeians such as myself can’t make it. It undermines our entire economy of desire. The tests girls are required to pass just aren’t meant to be passed by girls like me. I can flounder all I like at crafting a persona amenable to the industry but at the end of test I will still have failed. I may have found a way to claw my way to the top but I would still be a second class citizen. Or worse yet a striver. My almost nature guarantees it.
To my credit it only took me a few days to figure this out. I realized fashion was a no-win scenario. But instead of flouncing off and deciding fashion was a silly game for frivolous girls I decided to change the rules. You see, like Captain Kirk, I don’t believe in the no win scenario. I sincerely believe fashion can be something much more than a diversion.
James T. Kirk takes the test three times while at Starfleet Academy. Prior to his third attempt, Kirk surreptitiously reprograms the simulator so that it is possible to rescue the freighter. This fact finally comes out, later in the movie, as Kirk, Saavik and others appear marooned, near death. Saavik’s response is, “Then you never faced that situation. Faced death.” Kirk replies, “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.”
While everyone else is playing by the rules I am finding ways around them. And what really pisses people off is that I do well by it. And it is hard to get used to the fact that bucking the system works because when I behave in a way that isn’t part of the game things seem to go better for me. Just ask Brian Sugar someday how he discovered my existence.
I used to think that Kirk was a cheater. That reprogramming the scenario was a cheap trick or clever gambit meant to prove he was a few IQ points ahead of the rest. But as I have grown I realize that it is those that reprogram their own existence that give us progress. Taking a hard look at the rules and disregarding them is often the first step towards real insight. But for those that have invested years of their lives into the game nothing is more disrespectful or frustrating than someone who changes the rules.
i think this was a lovely post julie. well done.
[i do disagree with you on your point that because you are "short, from a normal family, have no society or social connections, and generally don’t exude any aura of style or fabulousness" that you were doomed from day one. not to say that prejudices don't exist, but i know many, many exceptions to the stereotype (note i didn't say rule).]
but overall you raise an honest and interesting discussion, which relates very much to a much-extended conversation Danielle of Final Fashion and I had last weekend about our personalities and working slightly outside the grid versus the comforts of the establishment.
in the end though, while i agree with you that a) change is what leads to progress, b) things have and will continue to change significantly in fashion and in the media in the last few years, and c) it is the those who adapt who will thrive during periods of change…I also think it’s not fair to suggest that everyone who follow the rules is threatened by change or rule-breakers. and the “no man is an island” also comes to mind, because while i think people like you and Faran and others have done so much, it has been possible because along the way there were gate-keepers who opened the door and believed in you. to use your metaphor, one person changing the rules in any game could be considered cheating, but when enough players decide that things should change…that’s when the rules will evolve.
Hmmm you raise an interesting point about when the rules breakers start to set the rules themselves. In which case fashion may be entering a Calvin Ball moment.
http://www.simplych.com/cb_rules.htm
Any player may declare a new rule at any point in the game (Figure 1.2). The player may do this audibly or silently depending on what zone (Refer to Rule 1.5) the player is in.
Hi Julie,
You know the new Trek movie details the whole test thing in detail, right?
Julie, I would love to get in your brain for a day. You are such an interesting woman.
I, too, am short. I am from a normal dysfunctional family. I have no ties to high society (maybe a few in low society). I think I am fashionable for an old fart but my uniform in my college days was painter pants and a t-shirt, my uniform in the mommy years was sweats, and my uniform in the empty-nester years has evolved into what some would call fashionable. I don’t follow the rules as they exist in blogging because I don’t even know what the damn rules are. I appear to be an anomaly in Coutorture, at least from an age aspect, but c’est la vie. I write hoping my daughter and her 20-something friends pick up on the confidence theme that is splattered all over my blog. I write hoping that my 5 foot 4 son understands that size has nothing to do with confidence. I write for my 40-and 50-year-old friends that are questioning their role in life. As Fashion Weeks comes to an end, I am going to get back to where I started from — helping women feel confident.
Dear Julie, if you are pissing people off, I sense they are just green with envy or nasty, shallow bullies that feel some self-importance by responding in a foul way. Jealousy seems to be the bed partner of youth. If people spent more time being proactive instead of reactive, they wouldn’t need to malign someone else.
One would think that my 5 foot 4 son wouldn’t be able to play rugby at the college level. But that kid has heart and has started all four years as the scrum half. I guess he is Almost Boy. Heart will get you more places than brawn, or supermodel looks, or societal connections.
Julie, go ahead and keep pissing people off. I think you have heart. Stop worrying about everybody else and do what makes you happy.
I would like to see Almost Girl become Definitely Woman.
Cheers,
Beckie
> Stop worrying about everybody else and do what makes you happy.
I second this motion.
-Jordan
I guess my only question is how far will changing the rules really get you? Do you really think that bloggers can one day bring in as much attention as current media?
I also agree with Somegirl in that whole “short,fat, no connections” scene is really an illusion. How much have you really tried Julie to be able to say that there is no way to win? So forget winning and losing because the reality is that things are not so simple. Fashion is not just a bunch of thin, rich, clones but made up of all kinds of people when you get down to it. By all means do your thing girl! But realize that your only limitation is really your belief that you are limited.
what a wonderful conversation. inspiring, all of you.
Hey,
Great post. I don’t have anything to do with fashion, but found it inspirtational.
Best of luck,