I HATE social networking. As someone who USED to believe in complete transparency (until I started getting burned by gossip columns, people out to get me, and jealous bystanders) I am getting a lot of flack. Why? Well I believe deeply in the value of community and in our half baked Web 2.0 world people love to substitute social networking platforms for real community. And they want to think that I can’t possibly be an expert in developing online communities if I am not on Facebook!
As someone who spends all day communing with a tight knit network of people trust me it is much more effective to drop someone an email than it is to pretend that they are paying attention to your favorite array of social applications. Trust me they aren’t! Half the time they won’t even pay attention to email if my experience means anything.
Besides, why should I let you into my life in this artificial way when you can simply contact me directly? I have my email on my damn blog so presumably you can reach out. You can actually network with me over dinner (I take people out pretty regularly) over drinks (I might even pay) or breakfast at Balthazar (then I can introduce you to friends who might happen to be breakfasting as well).
But people want to feel like they know me. If only so they can hate me. Or berate me. Or weigh in on my weight (if you really want to know why I am 130 pounds instead of the 105 fashion wants me be its because I am on steroids for a health condition, feel bad yet peanut gallery?).
And what brought this on? Hugh McLeod, who I have never met and only occasionally read, seems to feel an urge to friend me on various social applications I have casually signed up for in the past. He just asked to follow me on Twitter (which I now keep private due to a very unfortunate stalking incident). And you know what Hugh? If you want to be one of the 10 people I allow to follow me (which is now only family and close friends) feel free. I am pretty sure you can tell its a private account when you send a request. But if you actually think I am worth following for any particular reason (well I am one of the few that spans disparate cultural industries and tech so maybe that is something) feel free to actually bother to email me.
As to the rest of you, honest, you just should email, IM, or even call me. I am still a transparent woman. You just have to prove that you are worth being in my life. And frankly the street goes both ways. Don’t be fooled into thinking that all this technology is letting us extend our networks.
Or as a commenter Christopher Coulter said on Robert Scobles Post I Love My Friends But Why Am I Between You and Them
Or you know, they could pick up a phone, or (gasp) email. If you need a byzantine network of 20 differing applications to keep in touch and keep up on the news, they aren’t friends, just a rather wide-reaching over-complicated incompatible advanced PIM of sorts, or a “Jeremiahish Marketing-Spam Rolodex�. Friends you talk with near daily, this is just a web creature geeky once-a-year Christmas Card list, people you don’t much care about now, but don’t want to lose contact with either.
And Scoble, was a jerk to this very astute commenter. I think I rest my case.
So. When are you visiting again?
PS – First weekend of February, are you free? I think a trip to NYC to the Met is on the cards.
Your meds may be making you puffy, but you shouldn’t feel the need to justify it. Seriously, Almost Girl, meds or no meds, you’re intimidatingly pretty, with a very good eye for what colours work for you. To be exact, you’re chic without the over reliance black, if the photos in your blog are any evidence.
Powerful, just powerful. You speak the truth.
Julie,
I mean this in the very best way – we are not friends. in fact, we are mostly strangers, with a brief chance encounter, where we made an impression upon one another. As a result, I read your blog regularly – even though i don’t give a damn about fashion. I read your blog, because you are interesting to me; as a person and as a professional and because i don’t have a clue how women work, and the more insight i can get, the better.
That said, I don’t have a facebook account, i do have an unused linked-in account, and recently found the spock was a useful site for personal info on people. So, i let you know of these, for the same reason i hooked into twitter – because it was a good tool, and i found out about it, because of you. By the way, i switched to jaiku.com because i thought it was a much better tool for building community. it is closed to the public, for now, because google bought it, and is incorporating it into their empire, but if you would like an invite, let me know.
I have developed a split personality online. There is my very PUBLIC persona “SpaceElevatorGuy” and then there is the introverted Michael Laine – who has NO ONLINE presence. I have never been stalked, but do have a few groupies that make me a little uncomfortable.
So, even though we are not friends, if you were closer than 1500 miles away, i would be glad to meet you for breakfast. In fact, i hope to see you in boulder again, and actually get to know you.
take care. mjl
[...] This could be time spent on actually meeting people for real which is what we’ve done for some 50,000+ years. I’m not the only one thinking this. [...]