Sometimes I just can’t stand the magazine business. This morning someone from Marie Claire plopped this asinine story in my inbox about living Biblically. And you know what? I am sick of the way that everyone wants women to feel guilty about everything.
I don’t happen to believe (and I am a Calvinist) that fashion, makeup or clothing happens to have any moralistic undertone. I resent the constant guilting of the American woman into believing she is inadequate from all sides. Either she isn’t pretty enough because she doesn’t spend enough on clothing, dieting or makeup and now she isn’t Godly enough if she doesn’t give it up? Which side is she supposed to choose? And why the hell is Marie Claire trying to make us schizophrenic?
The piece makes the woman feel guilty for being an urbanite, wanting to score a good deal at a sample sale, and for thinking John Mayer is cute. But after all that guilt we are reminded that well its all relative right girls! Its just sweeping humanism.
By week’s end I do have a “road to Damascus” change of heart: I am determined to remember the Bible’s big, sweeping humanist laws.
AHHHHH! No wonder we are all confused or schizophrenic. Because there are no concrete moral milestones even if we have to feel vaguely guilty about all possible moral failings on our part. Why is it that moral relativism gave men the freedom to do everything and get off the hook? and women the freedom to do nothing but feel bad about all possible outcomes?
We have to feel bad about everything from not being pretty enough to not being moral enough, but try to remember that there are nice warm fuzzy humanist laws about being “good” whatever the fuck that means. One of these days I can only hope that women will give a big “FUCK YOU” to the entire process. But without any understanding of the Enlightenment or Protestantism’s right to worship as one chooses I am guessing that ain’t NEVER gonna happen. Western Civilization is crumbling as we give up rational thought and Platonic standards of right or wrong and all women can think of is a giant to do list of our failings. And EVERYTHING we do is a failing now.
I wish I still got marie Claire so I had read this article. I probably would be fuming just like you. Well written, enough for me to take a gander of the article in the grocery line and come back probably writing, “hear hear Julie! You go GIRL!”
Did I understand this right, Marie Claire US had a feature on how to live by the Biblical rules? Wow, they must’ve missed the fact that the US is rather diverse in religion… they are making an assumption their readers are Christian, and especially practicing Christians. I think it is scary something like this is published in a publication that doesn’t claim to have any link to religion, but to fashion & lifestyle. I would boycott a magazine for publishing something like this. As an atheist it makes me shudder if I would pick up a fashion magazine and be faced with religious propaganda.
Isn’t it maddening? I am offended and I actually am a Christian. Its like what type of agenda are they trying to push? Either you aren’t focusing enough on your image or you are focusing too much, and then wrapping it into some moral bow. UGH it makes me STEAM
I was going to say the very same thing… it scares and angers me that the government and the media make these grand assumptions that their audience is Christian. I thought we were a melting pot??
Julie,
two things:
1) kill the first comment on this article, it is cleverly disguised spam that was recently invented to generate links to an ad site. I have been getting about 6-15 like this, every day for a week now.
2) it is MUCH easier to be a guy. the rules and expectations are much more clear-cut if you are a single guy (I suspect it is a little murky being a married guy, but since that is unlikely for me, i don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it.)
On the otherhand, i have had several conversations with ex-girlfriends about the inequities you describe. As far as i can tell, being a girl means there is “no way to win” the conflicting values and judgements placed upon you. I once almost married a girl that fantasized about being both a corp executive of a fortune 50 company (she was) AND a married, mother of 2, (she was not). She was smart, beautiful, creative, talented, classically trained ballerina, nationally ranked Salsa dancer (i sucked, but it was fun to watch her!) with an engineering degree and an MBA from a great school – and absolutely miserable and tied up in knots, emotionally, because no matter what she tired, some part of her self-esteem felt it was failing some other part of her self-esteem.
It was very sad to watch her locked in this internal struggle. And of course, trying to tell her that these were external expectations, and that she could simply CHOOSE what she wanted, well, that point was completely missed.
yup, it is much simpler being a guy… and by the way, the only reason i am reading your blog, is a tribute to how much i learned being with her, about fashion. I am still mostly clueless, but i am much more aware of it, because of her. I suspect the two of you could have been friends.
take care, and for the love of god, (i tossed that religious message on purpose, given the original them of this post) don’t get caught in the same trap my ex did. You are a smart girl, live by your own standards.
mjl
I certainly live by my own standards but it drives me up the wall to see magazines perpetuate these messages to women. Its a very damned if you do damned if you don’t sort of thing. Be pretty! PAINTED WHORE! I mean really. Either you aren’t pretty enough or you aren’t moral enough because you focus too much on vanity. But without any cultural grounding in Western Civilization I have no idea how women are supposed to parse out the real issues and sort their priorities.
I have struggled for a while now, trying to come to terms with the biology and social reasons for why women have the shorter stick. I completely agree with your opinion that women are bombarded by all these conflicting “rules” and they’re damned if they do and damed if they don’t. However, I don’t think you’re reading this article right. I think the article was an exercise in practicing restraint and “living biblically” was just a framework to do it. It’s like going vegetarian for a week. You may ask why one would want to do that if they don’t have health concerns or if they don’t particularly care about saving all the cows, but I can tell you that I’ve done that just to see if I can do it. “Living biblically” is not an inherently female thing to do. Men and women can both do this and while there are sexist rules, the ones she chose to write about were not. I don’t think she is actively evangelizing or anything like that. I think it’s an invitation with a larger message – to challenge yourself and experience something different, to practice patience and restraint.
“When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.”
A. Lincoln
What you wear is not who you are, no matter how much the media tries to convince you otherwise.
First off, I’m really scared to think of who is taking advice about living biblically, or morally or to show restraint from a fashion magazine. WTF? If you need to be reminded to be a good person and not spend what you don’t have by a glossy magazine, you’ve got bigger issues.
I know there is a book written by a Jewish guy called Living Biblically where he lives strictly by the bible for an entire year I think, most of which is living by the old Testament and the rest of the year living by the new. Maybe this inspired Marie Claire.
Either way, freaking bizarre.
I don’t think that women should ever feel bad about wearing makeup or being interested in fashion. For many of us it is a hobby, something that is fun and harmless. I think it is terrible that people should make us feel bad about that.
That said I do not agree with magazines or designers that try to shove stick thin models down our throats trying to show the world that this is the shape all women should take.
But as far as I am concerned one thing doesn’t really have to have anything to do with another, especially when it comes to makeup. I am interested in the lipsticks, lipglosses and other make up that will make me look and feel good through nice textures and pretty colors. This has nothing to do with a false image of women in general, it is just about having fun.
I think that we have to learn the point at which we should disassociate with the media in general. Focus more on the items rather than the way they are being sold. And of course speak our minds and hope that change happens. But again I am more of a makeup girl rather than a fashion one so it is easier to do this in the world of cosmetics. At least I think so.
Now as far as living biblically well…that could mean many different things to many different people. And really how does anything to do with the old testament and living styles have anything to do with today. Totally different world.
This is why I take all of my moral and fashion advice from the same source. America’s next top model. Those girls really know what’s going on.
But seriously, is this what actually passes for…intelligent writing? A moral challenge? Living on the edge?
If I want to do something wholesome I’ll stop showering for a month, travel to a part of the world in need and do something. I’m most certainly not going to play at living holier than thou for a week just to prove that I can have a biblical life while being an urbanite. Isn’t there something in the bible along the lines of “Thought shalt not be a complete idiot.”
If only.
Having skimmed the article I have to think it was meant a little tongue-in-cheek. That said, it’s also no accident that the author chose the Ten Commandments as her guide for living the “good” life, a questionable benchmark at best. What an annoying article.
[...] Almost girl wonders why with the guilt, shame, and crazy already, in this sharp piece to Marie Claire (read through to the comments, where Julie’s cultural thrashing like “Either you aren’t pretty enough or you aren’t moral enough because you focus too much on vanity. But without any cultural grounding in Western Civilization I have no idea how women are supposed to parse out the real issues and sort their priorities” are enough to get me back to grad school for a second Master’s or at least eeek out a really long blog post) [...]
oh dear, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill! as i suspected after reading your post, the marie claire author used A.J. Jacobs’ book “The Year of Living Biblically” as a starting point for her article — and if you’ve read the book, or heard A.J. talk about it, it’s really just meant to be a humorous social experiment. Yes, he sprinkles in some platitudes and wraps it up with a nice message to the effect of “the Bible’s alright by me.” But all of A.J.’s books are clever gimmicks at best – like he read all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica for his other book “The Know-It-All”. He’s a goof ball and I think the Marie Claire author simply used his book as a model to write their own tongue-in-cheek essay.
Well put!!!
I couldnt have agreed more with this posts….sadly there are women RIGHT now contemplating on putting on make-up or reading a scripture. INSANE!! The U.S. is SO caught up on being perfect and pride themselves on being a ‘diverse’ country but then are mags that put out this mess!!
Live and Let Live!
She’s just written a thoughtful article about an experience she had living by a certain set of principles. I read a similar article in Elle recently about an American woman trying out the stereotypical European lifestyle (including taking up smoking cigarettes!) – does that make Elle pro-European and anti-American? More to the point: would you all have had the same reaction had the article been “A Week of Living By the Koran”?